Anticlimax. Literally.

I've just researched the top keywords people are using to find my blog, and I feel as though an apology is order. With the exception of one of you who typed "pants in the ocean" (so you were either looking for me... hurrah! Or you also love the idea of pants in the ocean... double hurrah!), the rest of you who arrived via search engine were probably radically disappointed when you got here.

Here are the top searches that landed people on my innocent little blog:

1. nudie.com
2. getting naked in the ocean
3. walking around naked
4. nudie beach
   
   and, my favorite:
   
   
5. naked scrotum
   

This cracks me up to no end. First of all, it makes me feel like a total badass. So thanks! This aspect even makes up for the fact that no one found me by typing "extremely witty and well-written commentary on pretty much nothing."

What gets me the most is that I can picture some randy teenager, alone for 1/2 hour on the family computer, feverishly searching for every dirty thing he can imagine before his parents get home from work. He's got very little time to spend with the pictures he wants to find, let alone with lame web sites that don't even have any pictures. Furtively and with a gigantic erection, he types "nudie beach" which, to him, should produce pages and pages of results with beautiful naked women.

Instead he lands on my lame-o, text-only blog entry called "First visit to a nudie beach," which not only has no pictures, but also details the fact that nudie beaches are distinctly lacking in the beautiful naked women department. It is a great market, however, for overweight, balding, hairy gay men -- so if you're interested in that demographic, click here.